Calanais

This place, a center of power, in the earthweb
of light, ancient Calanais, is home and Mother to me.
Long years ago I went there, grieving
and heartsore, full of pain. I came to the Lady,
my Mother, like a wounded animal crawling home,
not caring about living or dying, knowing
only the pain, the agony, caught up in the sorrow
of being what i was, where i was, who i was,
and I asked her for healing - the healing of life
or the healing of death - it really didn't matter which.

I sat within the circle of stones, holy to her,
knowing and feeling the worldspin - sunrise, sunset,
moonrise, moonset, days and nights of silence. She
was there - as she is everywhere. I felt her enfold me,
I was within her presence, her peace.

She Is.

In that place and that time, I, too, Am.

And in that silence, that peace, my memories
that had keened in anguish grew quiet.
They remained in my heart, not gone -
oh no, not gone, not taken away
and me made less, but they were still.

And in that stillness I began to remember
mySelf, eternal and in harmony with the singing stars,
and I remembered the cycles, waxing and waning,
living and dying, of the changing but unchanging moon.

Still, silent, I sat in the circle,
waiting for I-know-not-what, knowing
only to wait, to be still while the world
continued to spin. The moon waxed
until one night she rose full, pregnant
with life, in a dark and empty sky.

And I, sitting in this quiet world, among these stones,
fell into her peace. Slowly, slowly I realized
that I felt the Lady breathing. She drew breath
and the earth rose and fell, so gently, so slowly
as she breathed. I felt her heart beat, beating slowly,
deeply in the earth and in me.

She lives and breathes ...
The very earth, the stones, the air, the clouds
in the sky are a part of her being,
and they move, moving so softly as she breathes.
And I could feel this breath of life
beneath me, around me ... within me.
And
I was
and
I Am
stricken
with awe
within the being
of this living world.
This recognition, this knowing
of her life, her being, her reality
and presence
was my healing, and it was beyond anything
I could ever have thought to ask.
And mySelf, my heart was filled
with her joy.